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- What did the doctor remove from her salad? Kidney beans!
- Why do worms act so frightened? They have no backbone.
- What is an ant? A hard-working bug that still finds time to go to lots of picnics.
- Why do you have to be careful about telling a secret in a cornfield? Because the corn have ears.
- How do you make a pineapple turnover? Try tickling its stomach.
- What most looks like half of a watermelon? The other half.
- Why does a farmer have to wear dark sunglasses? Because she grows sunflowers.
- Why are fruits so polite? They always remember to say “Thank you ‘berry’ much!”
- What could be called “nature’s pincushion”? A cactus.
- Why was the tomato blushing? Because it saw the salad dressing.
- What fruit is not afraid to take a swim? A watermelon.
- How do you make friends with a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut.
- What tree is like a pet? A dogwood.
- Knock, Knock! Who’s there? Berry! Berry who? Berry nice to meet you!
- What do you call a shoe made from a banana? A slipper.
- What did the apple tree say to the farmer? Stop picking on me!
- What kind of vegetable likes to look at animals? A zoo-chini!
- What is a zucchini's favorite game? Squash!
- What's the coolest vegetable? A rad-ish!
- What do vegetables wish for, more than anything else in the whole world? Peas (peace) on earth!
- Why do vegetables want that so much? Because it will give them peas (piece) of mind!
- What's a dancer's favorite kind of vegetable? Spin-ach!
- What's the most uncomfortable kind of vegetable? Spin-ouch!
- Why do cabbages win at races? Because they know how to get a-head!
- What is a taxi driver's favorite kind of vegetable? A Cab-bage!
- What does corn say when it feels embarrassed? "Aw, shucks!"
- What is a chicken's favorite kind of vegetable? An egg-plant!
- What is a kayaker's favorite kind of lettuce? Row-maine!
- What did the salad greens say to the hungry kid? We'll make your mouth and your tummy happy, if you lettuce (let us)!
Jokes adapted from Ready, Set, Grow! A Kid’s Guide to Gardening by Rebecca Spohn and from http://voices.yahoo.com/original-family-friendly-jokes-vegetables-81601.html